Religious ppl vs spiritual ones

My father was an alcoholic and then became Christian. As a born again it was worst. :(. My mother is coming dependent and unstable. My great grandmother was Jewish so she is Jewish right now. But she was catholic in her 20.s, gnostic in her 30.s, Christian. Protestant in her 40. T bring my dad back to her as a new born man, Jewish at her 50 and 60. Yes . I am religion phobic. I sometimes try to pray and approach secular Jews gatgerings. They are totally incoherent ppl. So I like spiritual ppl not religious ones. I married a atheist, most moral person I ever known.