Freedom

I know I lost it. My head is not at its high place above my neck. I place it anywhere, for anytime possible, always in a different position. It almost like a game, my mind wonders around. My mind is asking questions; why he doesn.t like me, why there is no answer, why is he escaping from me, why is he possesive, am I guilty?

 I have to believe in myself. Remember by heart every harsh response and apreciate each loving kiss, identifying the manipulative talk from the caring words, the mind washing phrases beside  the conforting hug, the poisonoius words that leave me vulnerable compared to accepting me all broken, while pasting each piece with a kiss.

 I have to have my soul clean of blame. I am just as you can see, just a chaotic woman looking to be less obtuse and more human.

 I am begining to become coherent, I was quite clear, no ownership.  I ask for no boundaries, no strings attached, no lies, no promises. Just enjoy your company,  give each other a new dimension, share our secret together.

I really wished he would overcome his ignorance for me, but it is useless. You are just supposed to be: I need you, you must be..

 My voice raised as high in the air claiming: I am free, my will is only mine, I am owner only of myself.

He commanded: You are just my property, you have to want me, you are only entitle to wait for me.

My heart is locked away, safe in  my chest so nobody can steal it again. I am sure that my eyes are not mistaken. My mouth is not untruthfull. You need a confused little soul, you will pet me and then chain me only for your pleasure.

I am just broken, I have no evil, just sadness to hide. I can sense when ignorance is soffocating my desires.

Why can I find a mature soul, ready for the challenge of loving the broken little doll I am. I am a shattered, confused child, kept in captivity in this intriguing vessel of sinfull sight.

I want a refreshing ocean breeze, that guards my dreams and makes me breath his affection.