Fourty ארבים

Why I am still here?

It has been 5 years of cycling around fate.

I guess that I kind of grasp that I have been living backwards.

I will confess my true nature as a soundtrack .

I do admit that I became an adult at 8 years as I woke up from my SWEET DREAMS

Yes, you learn the hard way that Everybody is looking for something.

So, facing the most instintive response on humans, I devoted myself in keeping myself safe.

I hide as a chamaleon, but I lost my true colors, so I became a  FREAK. Something took a part of me.

Growing up with a huge mask provocated just HURT to explote in RAGE

I lost the feeling sensation, as I deluted myself, so I tried to BREAK THE HABIT.

I was drowning in my loose, but a flame dried the damped soul. Grew  and grew, but he just watched me burned. I ended the vicious cycle of SOFFOCATING  and just before I drowned again, he was there to resucitated me.
But five years ago  the miracle waiting forced me to create my own ENCHANTMENT
I devoted to theWARRIOR rage for survival. The earth crumbled this year, leaving my feet without support. I became an orphan, exiled from my home and kidnapped from my human essence.
But after a long night, there is a new SUNSHINE

Summarizing, after Before I know, Awake at last..

As I lived 4 stages INSIDE myself:

10The eternal self determination, as I accepted reality and keep shaping my world.
20 I knew emotional attachment and its cost
30 Esteem as I achieved my self determination, as an individual that can own her life.
40 The new curious path of trust and security.

I realized that the dawn is coming, as I don't know how to go to heaven, I am lost on finding myself still ....